What used to be...

I've been thinking a lot about what a typical day was like for me and how many calories, fat and sugar I used to eat.  My typical day used to be:

1 Venti Peppermint Frappucinno  (560 cals  18 grams of fat  88 grams of sugar)

Pumpkin Scone ( 480 cals 17 grams of fat  43 grams of sugar)

or Iced Lemon Pound Cake (470 cals 20 grams of fat  42 grams of sugar)

OR

A bottled frapp (100 calories 3 grams of fat 11 grams of sugar)

Hostess Cupcakes (170 calories 6 grams of fat 21 grams of sugar)

Lunch 

Usually a bean and cheese burrito (homemade) (About 500 calories)

or 

Nachos (about 500 calories)

or 

Eating out somewhere

or 

Hot Pockets (330 calories 6 grams of fat) 

or 

a Pizza Pocket from the deli and 5 jalapeno poppers - who knows.  Too much to think about.

Dinner 

Anything and everything

I was to the point that I was going to Baskin Robbins at least 2 to 3 times a week and getting a Peanut Butter sundae (1240 calories 61 grams of fat).  I remember going and getting one once and taking it back to my work and eating it.  On a Sunday.  That is when I knew I had a problem with food.  

This does not include the daily candy bars and diet cokes.  

Frightening.  

Makeover?

I had someone ask me today if I've had a makeover...I told them that I had lost about 64 pounds.  She looked at me funny (this is someone I work with that sees me at least twice a week), and said, "Ok, but did you do something different with your makeup or something?"  It made me laugh.  I remember last year at this time, wondering if I will ever be able to cross my legs - wondering if I will ever be able to tie my shoes or put on my socks without running out of breath.  And here I am.  With a makeover.  Thank you sugar, thank you flour.  Thank you for leaving me alone for almost a year. Thank you for helping me be able to cross my legs.  Thank you for staying away so that I can have more energy, sit in plastic chairs, and do so many other things I was worried I would never able to do again.  Thank you for my makeover.  So far, that is!

Breakfast!

This is the only cereal I've found that had no added sugar...easy breakfast! Kashi 7 grain puffs.

200 days

Today marks 200 days without flour or added sugar - I still feel great.  I'm down about 40 pounds (it fluctuates) and have lost 6" off my hips and waist.  It hasn't been a fast process, and I'm OK with that.  I don't plan on gaining the weight back - nor do I plan on having flour or sugar again.

Here are some of the things I (we) eat -

Breakfast:

Kashi 7 Grain cereal
Skim Milk

or

Eggs (I use non-stick spray instead of butter or margarine)
Bacon (I microwave it)

Lunch: 

Salad
Sugar Free Raspberry Vinaigrette
Bacon
or
Adams Crunchy Peanut Butter
Strawberry Spread
Rice Cakes (2)
or
Turkey Chili
or
Egg Salad Sandwich (made with low-fat mayo)
or
Lunch Meat Sandwich with Horseradish and low-at mayo
or
Broccoli and Cheese

Dinner:

Pretty much any kind of meat
Spaghetti Squash
Vegetables
Brown Rice

Snacks:

Cashews
Lunch meat with a laughing cow wedge

I eat potatoes on a rare occasion, as well as whole wheat bread.

I drink at least 64 ounces of water a day - but most of the time have more than that.  Oh and FRUIT.  I love FRUIT :)

Elliptical

A small modern miracle happened today. Well maybe a couple small modern miracles. I decided to exercise. Modern miracle #1.

The last time I attempted the elliptical, I was able to clear 3 minutes flat. That's right, 3 minutes.

I have never liked to exercise. I played sports, but found ways around running...you know, like attempting a home run everytime so I could saunter around the bases. Or feigning a heart attack. 

Well this time I got on the treadmill and closed my eyes and just went for it! I had the music blaring. It really inspired me.  Modern Miracle #2: Believe it or not, I went 6 minutes. That's right! 6 minutes! It might seem small, but that is DOUBLE my last attempt. I'm very proud of myself. Now to try again tonight!

Wait...WEIGHT?

01/09/2014 Weight is a four letter word to me.  In my head it's only four letters.  And I say it like I say any other four letter word.  With disdain.

I've been overweight my whole life.  And by overweight, I mean, I was CHUBBY for the first 18 years of my life.  CHUBBY.  Not fat.  It was on occasion brought to my attention, but for the most part, not too many people pointed it out.  My friends for sure never talked about my weight.  It was always interesting to me how much people focused on not eating and seemed to be suffering.  I would have pizza and they would just gobble it up like they hadn't eaten in days - I felt like they were starving themselves.  I never did that.  It wasn't an issue.

It wasn't like they had cuter boyfriends.  That wasn't the case.  I never had issue with that, either.  I really felt like my being CHUBBY was a blessing in disguise.  I didn't have to keep up appearances.  I didn't have to starve myself.  I got to wake up every day and just be ME.  I was so lucky for that!  Of course I always wished I was a little skinnier, but it wasn't something that consumed me.

Fast forward to my 20's.  I'll be honest.  I have the fat gene.  There's no doubt about it.  Anyone on the Richardson side of my family knows exactly what I'm talking about.  It happens in a steady wave - once you have children or reach a certain age it's all downhill.  Unless you WORK at it.  Well...considering the aforementioned previous years, I didn't have the desire to even consider that.

I had 2 kids and gained 26 pounds with each of them, and that weight stayed on.  And has stayed on.  I had knee surgery and gained 20 pounds.  That weight stayed on.  I had thyroid surgery, gained 20 pounds and that weight stayed on.  I'm now to the point that I CARE.  I CARE, because I am worried about my health.  I am worried that I won't be able to enjoy my kids and grandkids when I get old.  I worry that I won't be able to enjoy fun things in life with my husband (and lets face it...he's 12 years older than I am!). I worry because I am, at 40, really starting to get a double chin...and to be honest, I've said it all my life, my face is my best asset!  :)  I remember someone saying that to me when I was younger.  "You're too pretty to be overweight".  I just took that as the best complement ever, and didn't even think about the weight part.

So...I am going to try my best to eat healthy.  I am going to try my best to keep moving.  I hate to say it outloud, because I want no advice.  I know what is good and what is bad.  Sometimes I just don't care and want a Baskin Robbins peanut butter sundae.  I'm going to give up Frappuccinos for good. I know those are a huge downfall for me.

I probably will never publish this post - because if I do, then I actually have to stick with my program.

I think I will post this when I've lost 20 pounds.